My Do’s & Don’ts of Pregnancy & Delivery

Of course the following list should be taken with a grain of salt. This are just my opinions and things I picked up while pregnant/after delivering. Some are things I was happy I did, others are things I wish I would have done differently. I am in no way trying to impose these ideas on anyone, nor am I going to judge anyone for not agreeing with me or choosing a different route for themselves.

DO moisturize as frequently as possible during pregnancy. For the first half of my pregnancy, I kept a large jar of coconut oil in the shower with me. I used it all over after I was done soaping off. Rinse it off with water only and pat yourself dry. After that ran out, I used body butter on my belly at least every night before bed. I didn’t wind up with any stretch marks during my pregnancy (which could or could not be attributed to the moisturizing), but it’s important to moisturize anyways. Itching your dry, stretching skin with a big old belly only adds for a weirder picture.

DO invest in a few maternity-specific pieces. As soon as your clothes start to become uncomfortable, find a few maternity pieces you like and purchase them. I would recommend some for casual and some for work. Empire waist maxi dresses and maxi skirts that you can wear under your belly are wonderful, too, but a few pairs of pants/jeans and maternity tops will do wonders for your self-esteem. (Not to mention you won’t be stretching out your regular wardrobe.) I watched maternity sales at Old Navy for some time and finally bought a pair of denim shorts, capris, linen pants and 2 shirts when I could get them on sale. I also caught Pink Blush Maternity during an after-Christmas sale and bought a few tops there as well.

DON’T skip meals. Not like that’s possible anyways. I went from being a smoothie or granola-on-the-go type of girl when it came to breakfast to eating a huge bowl of cereal every morning. I quickly found out that cereal was the only thing I found to eat that wouldn’t make me sick after taking my prenatal vitamin. One morning I even had a huge bowl of yogurt, fruit and granola and I still got sick almost immediately after eating it – and it wasn’t morning sickness either. So to emphasize, make sure your meals (which you won’t skip) have something of substance.

DO your own research and DON’T take everything everyone is going to tell you to heart. Every single woman out there has their own opinion about pregnancy, raising babies, etc. Funny enough, people who haven’t even been pregnant or don’t have kids have their own opinions, too. (“My sister’s friend’s cousin’s wife did this when she was pregnant and this happened.”… Cool, shut up.) So take the time to do your own research about pregnancy recommendations – birthing options, diet restrictions, vaccinations, etc. For example, after what I consider to be extensive research considering the topic, I continued to drink coffee and occasionally soda during my pregnancy, keeping my daily caffeine intake under the recommended 200 mg of caffeine/day. I also had, on average, a glass of red wine every 2-3 weeks during my pregnancy, starting after my first trimester. I did plenty of research regarding wine consumption during pregnancy and you can have up to one glass per day, (assuming that you are still providing your body with the proper nutrition through regular meals and staying hydrated). One glass per day seemed a little too much for me, so I stuck to one a week (usually for special occasions), often skipping weeks in between.

DO work out during your pregnancy – in whatever way possible, whenever you have the energy. I went on short 10-15 minute walks a few times per day thanks to having a pup and living in a townhouse, but I wish I would have worked out more during my pregnancy. Working out during your pregnancy has also been proven, in most cases, to have a better bounce back rate for your pre-baby body and should help with mood swings.

DO work as long as you possibly can before the baby’s born – unless you’re fortunate enough to become a stay-at-home mom afterward – and DO have open communication with your higher-ups. This, of course, is pending there are no health issues and that your job is not labor intensive. Working as long as you can has many benefits including saving additional money that you won’t be making (or at least will be making less of) once you are on maternity leave; time tends to go by more quickly when you have something to do during the day/week; maintains some level of normalcy and gives you something to focus on that’s not “baby related”; and allows you to save up as much of the allowed maternity leave for when the baby is is actually here. In my experience, having open communication with your boss(es) is extremely beneficial. I was granted 8-10 weeks off for maternity leave. In the 3 days approaching McKenna’s arrival, I worked half days (partially because my dad was in town, but partially because of exhaustion as well). Fortunately, these half days were taken out of accrued vacation time that I hadn’t used yet. They were also generous enough to allow me to leave  1-2 hours early on occasion if I was feeling drained or exhausted (a luxury I did not take advantage of, but did use once or twice). Depending on your role and the type of company you work for, they will most likely want you to stay at work as long as possible – even if that involves you taking half days toward the end of your pregnancy or having to leave early some days.

DON’T approach your delivery with a close mind. It may help to think of it as the baby’s birth plan – not yours. I’ve said it from the beginning and I’ll re-emphasize it again now that I’ve been through it first hand: your baby will arrive however he/she pleases. If he/she decides to give you that natural birth you’ve always dreamed of, great! However, you have to be openminded to the fact that this may not happen. Go in with an open mind and the delivery process will go so much more smoothly than you ever would have imagined. Not to mention once that sweet little bundle is in your arms, you won’t care how they got there anyway.

DON’T make your delivery a negative experience. Cursing at your partner and telling him that it’s his fault is overdone and overrated. Not to mention we’ve all taken sex ed and know that’s not exactly the case, now is it? Takes two to tango, honey. So…

DO make your delivery the exciting, highly anticipated event that it is! Laugh, make jokes, whatever is distracting enough from the pain but can still allow you to focus on the push. Thinking Just one more push, Natalie, worked for me, too. I probably pushed around 100 times in 1 hour, at 10 seconds a push, and eventually, it really was just one more push, and she was here!

DO say yes to (almost) whatever the nurses want to offer you to help with the pain after a vaginal delivery. Most specifically antiseptics, ice packs and sits baths. It may seem impossible to do a sits bath when you’re still at the hospital (a lot of things seem impossible after giving birth to a human the size of a small watermelon), but trust me when I say this: “Do a sits bath the second you are offered one!” I could’ve done one the evening following McKenna’s arrival but the thought seemed too painful and so I waited until I got home. In hindsight, I should’ve done one immediately as the amount of liberation I felt afterward was incredible. It’s these little things that I give a lot of credit to during the healing process.

McKenna Laine has arrived!

Well, she’s finally here!

McKenna Laine Friedmann
Arrived on May 14, 2014
at 3:08 a.m.
at St. Joseph’s Women’s Hospital, Tampa Bay
weighing 8 lbs.
& measuring 21 inches long

As stated in a previous blog post, McKenna was a name Mike and I both loved should we have  a girl (we narrowed our name list down to 1 male and 1 female name back in November before we knew the gender). Her middle name, Laine, came from my mother’s middle name, Lorraine. We knew we wanted a family name, or something derived from one, and this is one we thought flowed most naturally.

McKenna’s Birth Story: 

On Monday evening, 5/12/14, around 5:30 p.m., I started feeling what I suspected to be contractions. I hadn’t felt any contractions yet this entire pregnancy – not even Braxton Hicks contractions. Being 41 1/2 weeks along, I didn’t want to get too excited if it was a false alarm. I’ve read multiple blogs, articles and forum posts about how some women’s contractions showed up and then just disappeared. My dad was in town and was actually scheduled to leave the next afternoon. We were hoping he would be able to meet McKenna, but it wasn’t looking great. I didn’t want to mention the contractions to him because I didn’t want him to get his hopes up and invest in changing his flight if she still wasn’t ready. I began texting my mom and Mike (who was at work) and timing the contractions. They were about 15-20 minutes apart.

I went to bed that night hoping I would get woken up with stronger contractions that were closer together. Or my water breaking. Something. Unfortunately, I woke up on my own around 8:30 a.m. and proceeded with my day as normal. I was spending the morning with my dad before he went to the airport and was scheduled to go into work that afternoon. When I took Rigby for a walk after waking up, the contractions were still present. They were now anywhere from 10-20 minutes apart. I kept a log in my notepad of when I felt each one, and my dad and I went out to breakfast.

After breakfast, I called the doctor’s office to see how I should proceed with the contractions that I was still feeling. I was scheduled to be induced on Thursday, May 15 if she hadn’t arrived on her own by that time. The doctor told me to monitor the contractions and if I felt more than 6-8 in an hour to stop in and they would do a labor check. I waited two hours and during both hour intervals I felt anywhere from 6-10 contractions. Mike and I were going to head into the doctor’s office. (After looking into changing his flight — for a $550 fee – no thanks, Southwest — my dad headed off to the airport. For his sake, I was hoping McKenna would take her time coming, as I couldn’t imagine her arriving just after he left – totally heartbreaking.) Upon our visit, I was 4 cm dilated and my water was ready to break at any point. We could have decided then to be admitted to St. Joseph’s, however since I was striving for a natural delivery we chose to walk around the mall instead.

We spent a few hours walking around the mall and praying my water didn’t decide to  break there (because seriously, how embarrassing). My dad was still at the airport as his flight was delayed, and he was doing everything he could to get his flight changed to Wednesday evening. We had informed my mom, and she was on her way up from North Port. Just before my mom arrived, my dad was able to change his ticket with no financial repercussions! His flight, connecting in Chicago, had been delayed due to the fires/heavy smoke out there that had shut down the airport and, given his situation, the gate attendant was kind enough to change his flight to the next evening. My mom picked my dad up from the airport on her way in, and we all spent a few more hours at the house before heading to the hospital around 8 p.m.

At this point my contractions were about 3 min. apart and very manageable as far as pain. In fact, they hardly bothered me at all. they checked me into triage and then into the labor and delivery room where we would wait to see if my labor progressed. Around 10 p.m., we (the nurses, doctor and I) decided that if my water did not break on its own by midnight, they would break it to see if labor would progress. The contractions started to get a little more intense, and while I still could, Mike and I decided to walk the halls of the labor and delivery area to kill some time. The hallway was very short, so we did about 6 laps back and forth. I would have to stop every minute or so to squeeze him and lean against the wall, the contractions were getting much stronger. When we got back to the room, I walked into the bathroom before laying back down and just like that – my water broke! I was so relieved. Ironically enough, it was about midnight so McKenna must have heard our earlier conversation and decide to come out on her own before we forced her to.

I cleaned up and got back into bed and the contractions started rolling. I struggled with them for about an hour and a half before I called for the epidural. It was probably one of the hardest mental battles I’ve ever had. I wanted a natural delivery so badly, but I wasn’t prepared for how quickly the contractions intensified. I had been so adamant about a natural delivery for a number of reasons, but mostly because I wanted control over my body while pushing and didn’t want to feel that numbness that so many other women feel during delivery. However, I knew that if I was going to be one of those long labors (which most first pregnancies are), I wouldn’t make it without one. Around 8-9 cm dilated, the anesthesiologist came in to administer the epidural. During this process (which was really no big deal at all), I started feeling the urge to push. I hadn’t felt this yet during my contractions. I tried to breathe through it, as recommended by the nurse, but the more the contractions came, the more I felt my body trying to push. As they were still administering the epidural, she called for the doctor.

Mike, who surprised me incredibly with how quickly he stepped in to help. He held one leg while the nurse held the other, and within 20 minutes after I was given the epidural, I was pushing. I was so relieved and thankful that, during this time, I still had complete feeling in my legs and total control over my pushing. In less than an hour of pushing, McKenna was here – crying and healthy and so perfect.

Within an hour we were moved to our Mother/Baby room where we’d spend the next few days recovering and bonding with our sweet girl. I was happy to find that I was able to get out of the delivery bed on my own and into the wheelchair – the epidural had already worn off. Could I have delivered naturally had I known there was only an hour or two left? Probably. And I will absolutely try a natural delivery again whenever that time comes. That being said, I wouldn’t change anything about McKenna’s arrival last week. I think it happened just as it was supposed to. My advice to anyone when developing a birthing plan: Be open minded. It’s great to have a goal, but if you go in open-minded to anything being possible or happening (some of which is out of your control) you’ll always be satisfied. This is an experience you shouldn’t look back on with despise.

I had an amazing support system behind me that I am so incredibly grateful for. Mike was an amazing coach, and I saw him change just a little bit (in a good way, of course!) in those few moments of him becoming a father. It’s true that you don’t know this particular level of love until you have a child. I fell in love with McKenna the second she was in my arms, and I fell even more in love with Mike, too.

We had a great stay at the hospital for the 48 hrs. after McKenna arrived. Nothing compares to being at home of course, but our nursing staff was so wonderful, accommodating and pleasant. Postpartum recovery is not something to joke about though and, probably because of all the gruesome details, it wasn’t something I felt very prepared for – at least not as prepared as I felt for the other pregnancy “obstacles” we encountered.

Our one week update: McKenna is doing great at home! She’s still in sleeping mode but is starting to stay awake more during the day. At night, she gives us about 3 hrs. of sleep at a time and only wakes up for a feeding session and diaper change. We are loving skin-to-skin and cuddle time, and I take advantage of it whenever I can. Rigby seems less curious of her now, although I still don’t think he fully grasps her presence just yet, but he greets her with sniffs and kisses, and will often lay beside her bassinet or bouncer. I am starting to final feel somewhat back to normal and have been out with McKenna and Mike for an evening walk in the neighborhood as well as light errands. Tomorrow we will take a trip to Bradenton to see Papa & Grandma Friedmann.

We are feeling incredibly blessed with all of the love showered on us since McKenna’s birth – all of the kind words, visits, prepared meals, help, etc. We are so excited to finally be on this journey as a beautiful family of 3 (+ Rigby!).

41 Weeks

 

Our little M is very late, and I think she is thoroughly enjoying it. I started getting frustrated and “over it” since about Week 38, but ever since we passed a few days after the highly anticipated due date, my frustration has lessened and it has become a rather boring waiting game. Michael, on the other hand, seems to have picked up the frustration I gave up… It’s kind of humorous actually. Poor guy.

My dad came into town last Thursday (thanks to him we have the adorable photo of the week of me above. I obviously dressed up for the occasion). The trip was planned in anticipation of M’s arrival, which we knew may not happen, and obviously it didn’t. Unfortunately, he leaves tomorrow afternoon and there’s no sign of Little M in sight! However, it has been nice to spend time with my dad before baby and for my dad to get to spend more time with Mike. He’ll be back to meet her after her arrival.

Regardless of whether or not she’s ready, the doctor’s have plans for her to be her before the end of the week. That in itself is exciting for us! Especially since Miss McKenna is only growing at this point… The developing is more or less over, and now she’s just gaining weight. They gave us an estimate of her weight at last week’s appointment – give or take half a pound. Can’t wait to see how close we come! Of course I’m hoping that I don’t have to get induced – more so because I was hoping to experience the excitement and surprise of contractions or my water breaking naturally, but regardless I am still aiming for a naturally delivery if I get to have things my way. All of that will be discussed with the doctor on Wednesday during my weekly check up.

So I guess that’s it. This is the last “I’m still pregnant post.” The next post (whenever I am able to get around to it) will be welcoming McKenna into the world! I can’t believe it’s (almost) finally here!!

40 Weeks = Full Term!

I feel: ready! Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Happy or Moody: Happy at home and irritable at work. My patience with people is running thin… Must be a pregnant woman syndrome?

Showing: Definitely. Feeling as big as a house.

Maternity Clothes: The few maternity clothes I have and maxi dresses & skirts with long tanks. I’m beginning to fill out my maternity clothes a little too much… M better get here soon!

Exercise: Long dog walks. Totally buying into the “Walks can induce labor” wives’ tale… Hey, if they doesn’t then at least I’m exercising, right?

Miss Anything: Ready for cute clothes and bikinis.

Anything make you sick/queasy: No

Movement: Slower and less frequent but still lots of stretching out (as much as she can anyway). I am so curious to see how big (and especially how LONG) she’ll be when she arrives!

Excited for: M’s arrival. Isn’t it obvious?

Favorite Moment of the Week: Another weekend spent pre-baby with Mike.

 

Well, McKenna’s due date has come and gone. She won’t be a Star Wars baby, and, considering there are only 4 1/2 hours left in the day, she won’t be a Cinco de Mayo baby either. I have not had one noticeable contraction yet – including Braxton Hicks contractions – so I am not sure what she’s waiting on. I will have another doctor’s appointment on Wednesday afternoon for a check up to see if my dilation/effacement has progressed since last week. Last week I was 2-3 cm dilated (slightly more than the week prior) and 80% effaced. So something’s happening which is good. It’s just not happening fast enough for my taste. ; )

A few weeks ago I hit the 38 week mark in my pregnancy where every person I spoke to and every thing I read said, “Baby could technically come at any time now! What day will it be?!” So you sit through each day anticipating that moment. Now that I’ve passed the 40 week mark, my brain has done this weird thing where it’s tricked me into thinking I’m never actually going to have a baby. Like, I’ve just been pregnant for the last 10 months for funsies and I’ll just be pregnant forever. Obviously this isn’t the case, but you get so used to being pregnant that when you actually get to the part where you could be a mom/dad any day now – it’s totally weird. Super exciting and really awesome, but so weird to think that, “Oh, I won’t have this belly forever. I can drink alcohol and eat raw fish and dress normally again? Cool.”

So we’ll see when she gets here! Keep sending positive vibes our way. I’ve been told I won’t have to get induced judging by my body’s progression and my anatomy in general, but judging by M’s lack of movement either she’s out to prove us wrong or she’s out to make this a very quick delivery process.